29 March 2010

Toilet Train Derailed

I’ve been avoiding toilet training. I’ve been going through the motions – bought a potty, training pants, books for K, and me. I've done just enough not to be labeled a total dead-beat mom, but I haven’t really committed. And so, of course, neither has K.

I haven't committed because, I have no idea what I’m doing. And, I have no idea how to toilet train as a team sport. Dear A has never toilet trained a child. So, I’m facing educating myself, educating her and then tackling K.

Part of me is hoping he'll just figure it out, while I’m trying to figure it out. Should I take time off and just make him go cold turkey, or continue the slower approach but put Dear A in charge? Is it a bad idea to try this a month before a road trip? Is K even ready? Am I?

Am I? That’s another issue. K sleeps in a crib/daybed and is still in diapers. I think part of me wants him to stay my baby.

Argh!!! I’d appreciate advice on all of this. Or, if you’d like to come stay for a week and toilet train K, I’d appreciate that too.


Big Mama said...

Toilet training is a nightmare! For V after trying for 8 months, we went to my sister's house (who had already trained one kid) she said leave her here for a week and then returned her toilet trained. You don't have a sister with an older kid by chance? For E well that was a nightmare- she was a premature baby and didn't train until her 5th birthday. Its July 27th and I took off the whole summer. I put her in panties, bought a carpet cleaner and put on the toilet every hour. There was no leaving the house for most of that whole month except for necessities. She slept in a pull up at night and for the necessaries trips. Finally at the end of 1 month she was day trained with maybe 1-2 accidents a week. The night training took much longer- what I was taught in pharmacy school was once they are dry 5 nights in a row then they are ready to not have a pull up. BUt that doesn't mean there are never any accidents. Invest in a plastic or waterproof mattress cover, 3 pairs of sheets ( you may need them all night) When the kids went to bed at 7:00 I stopped letting them have drinks at 6 pm so they could squeeze that last little bit of pee out before bed. HOpe this helps. Call me if you want to discuss!

Anonymous said...

Don't stress over it. He will be ready when ready. Sure, show him how, read the books, and if he is interested, by all means have him use the potty. But in my book, a kid is not potty trained if you have to remind them all of the time and if they still have regular accidents. I know A LOT of moms say that their kids are potty trained, but are constantly on them to use the toilet, and they are also dealing with a mess in underwear on a regular basis. Also, too much pressure on the kid and they can get totally backed up as they get scared of accidents in their pants. Once they are ready, they use the toilet on their own and have very few accidents (maybe one per month), versus a couple a day or a couple a week, and night time takes no time at all. We rushed our first kid, we won't be rushing our second. There is a "toilet learning" seminar that Kitty Raymond puts on, and she pretty much advises not to start before 3...not that we listened and then we really wished that we had.

Anonymous said...

PS - I don't really agree with the reward system that Kitty Raymond suggests in her seminar, but I do agree with not rushing it and starting too young. Honestly, once they are ready, they take the initiative and when they are in the driver's seat so to speak rather than going for mom and dad, it really is easy.

Anonymous said...

I trained all my three kids by osmosis. We read books and watched kids' shows on the subject, just to peak their interests.
Then I just let them do it when they were good and ready. No formal training. No stress. They were all out of daytime diapers before the age of 3. Nighttime the same for my two girls. My son needed the nighttime pull-up until age 5, but I hear that is common with boys.
Don't worry. Enjoy this age. He will not be wearing diapers in college:)

Shorty said...

I like the osmosis theory! Going with that!

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