What Do You Get the Person Who Has Your Everything?

Hands up if you're done your Christmas shopping, stuck to your budget and have everything organized? (If you put your hand up it'll just make it easier for me to find and slap you!) Kidding!! But, it is that time of year, when holiday stress drives me to eat and drink. Lucky for me the food and drink this time of year is extra healthy and low-calorie....oh wait.

In particular, being on a reduced mat leave salary had made the looming Christmas and Nanny Bonus stressful, until I figured out a present that would work for both us and Dear A.

I know quite a few parents wrestle with the what/how much nanny Christmas present. In previous years I've looked for a gift that is nice, meets a need and then given a cash bonus as well. This year I was out of ideas on the jewellery/watch/luggage option that fit our budget and really, wanted to look at a non-thing present.

I asked Dear A about her plans for the holidays in passing and ended up with the perfect idea. It turned out she wasn't going to visit her friends due to her ride/co-travellers not having time off. So there was my idea: extra days off and a ticket to see her friends. It was a perfect solution - out of pocket it was less for us, and a more meaningful gift.

What are you getting your nanny? (And, what are you getting your sister in law? I'm out of ideas... thanks.)

PS - Just FYI, I did ask Dear A before purchasing her ticket. Wasn't going to have this #FAIL happen again!

A Life Without

Dear A's back from holidays tomorrow. She's been off for three weeks. The first two weeks we were on a family mostly staycation. We missed Dear A but it was lovely to spend time together, sleeping in and goofing around. Last week we were both back at work, and juggling childcare. It was a challenging, and enlightening  dry-run for when, eventually, we are without a nanny.

So far I've realized:

Without a nanny, I will be at least 10lbs heavier. Since she's been gone, I've gained 4lbs. Chasing after my kids does burn calories but it's counter to the large amounts of crap food we eat when I don't have time to cook properly. And with Dear A, I can usually find 30 minutes to get some form of exercise, without having to pay for a gym with drop in childcare.

Without a nanny, the dog would be at least 10lbs heavier. Because Dear A can help manage the kids breakfasts, our dog gets at least a few minutes for a walk each morning. 


Without a nanny, my house would be at least 10lbs heavier... due to all the dust and dog and cat hair it accumulates daily. When Dear A's here, the house get swept every day, and dusted every few. With us... well lets just say even the dog is sneezing right now. I'm working on the child labour but neither one of them is there yet!

Without a nanny, my hubby'd probably be 10 lbs lighter because we'd never get any alone time so he'd probably be all about the working out etc. so he could have an affair. Well, maybe not quite, but we'd definitely get a lot less time together to re-connect and keep our marriage going.

All in all, a life without our nanny would be a lot heavier... and a lot less.

F*CK

Here's what happens when you have to beg and borrow childcare:

Tonight, K told me about "nuts."

"Its a Shhh bad word," that so-and-so's friend told him. I didn't get a clear picture of what else went down (talking to my 3 year old often reminds of my attempts to get subway directions in Turkey) but the gist implied an off colour conversation, and possibly a demonstration, with some older kids at the park. This was Day 2 of what is essentially an all week play date, because Dear A is away, and we both had to work. And now I'm left feeling annoyed, angry, and guilty.

I'm waffling between taking the next two days off to take care of him myself (which would wreak havoc on work) or having an uncomfortable and possibly ineffective (due to the hazy understanding of what really went down) conversation with the two nannies who are supervising the play date this week. Don't get me wrong, I think both are fantastic caregivers. I just think maybe the huge group care wasn't the best solution. Or maybe I'm just feeling guilty for not being at the park to help my kid navigate a situation that made him uncomfortable.

And so... F*CK!!

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Nanny Birthday Gift #FAIL

Dear A's birthday is coming up and as a gift, we rented her cabin for the weekend. Seemed like a good gift, big group outing etc. But then the gift fell apart and I was reminded of another aspect of life as a new immigrant, like my Dear A. Turns out their ride to the cabin fell through because the driver (and sole car owner in their group of friends) was promoted to shift supervisor and too worried to re-ask for the weekend off.

At first I was annoyed, but then I remembered my own days of scouring the "ride board" at university, hoping to bum a ride to go see friends or family. Or, my first few years of work when I wasn't sure if I could ask for all that vacation.... You forget how hard it is to run off for a weekend when you don't have a car, 4 weeks vacation a year, easy access to cash and all that.

I do still think the weekend away is a good gift, but I think next time I'll either do a gift certificate and cash to cover additional expenses, or maybe just cash. In the meantime... I may have a weekend at a cabin up for grabs.

Don't Leave Home Without Her - Nanny on Vacation

We're breaking new ground, taking Dear A on vacation with us, and as usual, I am worrying about how it will work.

We're travelling to Vancouver for a wedding and I've asked Dear A to care for K on the nights when events don't include children. We had planned to pay for her flight, but she is instead taking some extra vacation days and using her Air Miles. It works out well for Dear A because she has to travel to Vancouver to renew her passport. Our vacation plans saved her from having to wait in line for two days this weekend, unlike 5000 other Filipinos in Alberta.

Anyway, we've never travelled together so I'm trying to work through the intricacies of the situation. Here's what I've got sorted so far:

Careful what you wish for....

Posting will be light for the next bit. K’s still very sick, seems to have passed it on to me and Dear A departed for her holidays yesterday. I’ve got my hands full.

Am wondering how Dear A's vacation will go for us. K’s not quite old enough to get the concept, but has, as of late, had grandparents leave on a 5-month vacation, and now Dear A. When she said goodbye yesterday, poor K was in bed with a 40-degree fever. I’m not even sure it registered with him.

I’m wondering if the poor kid is a bit “Forrest Gump”ed right now, and thinks vacation is “when you leave and never come back.” Getting him ready for our next vacation will definitely be telling.

Friday FAQ - Where are you?

No, that's not the question I'm going to answer. Its a call to you, dear readers (and I know its mostly family and friends right now, but still.) Please send me your questions. Otherwise Fridays are going to be really, really boring! I've got a panel of experts lined up and waiting:

• the owner of a full-service nanny agency
• a payroll specialist
• a family doctor
• a financial planner

Post your questions in the comments below or email me at shortysho{at}hotmail.com

Since I don't have a question to answer, and I didn't blog yesterday, I thought I'd add a post-script to a topic I mentioned this week. I've been worried, ever since our Dear A won 20,000 Air Miles, about having to deal with additional vacation requests. (Click here for the background) Well, a request came, but not from Dear A.