Two Words That Struck Fear into My Heart

Open. Permit.

Scared Face.

As in Dear A got hers and can now apply for employment outside of our sponsorship and the Live In Caregiver Program. I almost didn't write about this because I'm terrified that someone will read this and come and steal her away. (Please don't.)

In the big picture, this is great news for someone I truly adore. Dear A has worked hard for this opportunity and it means she's one step closer to the life she wants to build in Canada, but... GULP, what if she leaves?

I've been thinking about it for a while - since we started the applications - and we've talked about it. I know that our new contract is good, and that she's happy with us. I know that always talking to her about part-time jobs, future jobs, schooling and ways for us to help her on that path will ensure no big surprises.  But, I also know the wait lists for good day homes and day cares in our neighbourhood and the problems families are facing finding childcare all over the city.

So, I'm still scared.

Went to Work, Missed a First of the Last

Another one of those days.... I went to a meeting while Dear A took both kids to the park, and discovered Baby Girl's love for the swing. Apparently she laughed hysterically and cried whenever the swing stopped. Another little personality moment that I didn't get to discover.

I'm sad that I missed this big first and feel like a bad parent because we hadn't thought to try her on the swing yet. Beyond the fact that K hated the swing until about a minute ago, and our expertise is coloured by "the first kid", its the classic working parent thing - you spend all week working and weekends get plugged up with social stuff and errands so you miss out on some of the basics. I'm also wondering if I haven't been delaying trying some of this stuff because I want her to stay a baby. My last baby... yeah, last, I'm pretty sure, no I'm sure...she's the last.

Being able to be home with her, more than I was with K, has been amazing. And that's tough. Its tough to let go of each little baby thing; the newborn onsies are packed away, the food mills gone, and the bassinets been donated. With each step, my last baby is becoming more "last" and less "baby."

Sidebar: Its My Birthday Today!

Ya, I'm behind on my posts. I've got four drafted, sort of brewing, and I know, I know, I owe you guys the Nanny Q&A too.... but guess what? Its my birthday and instead of "should"ing, I'm doing what I feel like! :-P

Today, I'm not blogging, I'm celebrating! 

Today, I'm 36. I have 2 perfect, PERFECT! kids, a happy marriage (hey, at least we can both see a light at the end of the baby-stress, job-stress tunnel.) I'm employed, and a good, smart worker. I've lost the baby weight. I make sure my family have healthy home cooked meals together almost every night. I have a great relationship with my parents, brother and sister in law. I live in a nice house and am a good neighbour. I volunteer for the food bank, because food has such meaning in my life that I can't bear the thought of others going hungry. I have happy, rescued pets, who's lives are better because of me. I have a best friend and am a good best friend. I keep learning. I am a good connector and try to help people if I can. Oh, and I'm the "Best Mommy Ever":

Guest Post: I'm the Nanny!

Those darned kids are teaching me stuff I never learned in school...

Now first off, this is my very first ever guest post. The rule of 'being nice to the new kid in class' applies here too! Secondly, after you're done reading this awesomely amazing (super nerdy) post, you have to go ask me a Q so i can give you an A. Easy enough right?

On the grown up side of the baby gate, a couple words about The Nanny ... for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week (and a bunch of weeks a year) I am a nanny. In all the other hours of the day I am a sorority girl, a bookworm, a girlfriend, & an avid solo movie goer. My blog, The Nanny by Day, is my way of sticking with my love of writing, getting out all my bubbling emotions, and of course, keeping track of the adventures I have with the two little girls who run my life. 

So what's it like being a nanny? It's like being a mom. But, without the sleepless nights, the breastfeeding, the birthing, and the bills. Sounds like a pretty delightful time doesn't it? Most days, it is. Some days, it isn't. On mornings when I am met at the door by two smiling, excited girlies, I love my job. On mornings when I am met at the door by a chores list longer than my arm, or a little girl who only slept for two hours, or a 3 year old with an attitude worse than miranda from SATC, I still love my job. Just not as much. 

Q&A With A Nanny - Not Yours, Don't Worry!

One of the reasons I love Twitter (at shosized) is that I've made some random new friends. One of them is a very cool nanny from the Edmonton area (read her blog here) who's agreed to do a little Q&A for me.

So here's your chance to find out why some one would agree to look after your demon spawn for a living....

Email (shosized at hotmail dot com) or tweet (at shosized) me your questions by September 30th and stay tuned for the Answers Post!

Alberta's Best Mama Bloggers

The last two weeks have been tough. We've got K into his pre-K routine, but he's not loving it yet, and really, neither am I. As is typical for fall, work has ramped up too. On one hand, I love the energy and creativity when business and communications planning ramps up in the fall, but on the other hand, I am brain drained.

So, as you can see, the blogging has been slow. So has the tweeting. (You can find me @shosized) I've been working on keeping my head above the water of school calendar, birthdays, Halloween, bill payments, business plans, dry cleaning, baby food making, garden harvesting... ergh, that reminds me I've got to find out what the family & inlaw thanksgiving plans are...giving thanks...still have to write the thank you cards from Baby Girls party....where was I? Oh yes, drowning.

I did get a life preserver though, a little bit of sunshine that reminded me how much I love this blog, love having this outlet, and that there are many many of us in the same boat out there.

I made the top 5 in Modern Mama Musing's list of Alberta's Best Mama Bloggers!

I really recommend checking out the list, each blogger is funny, frank and worth reading! Thanks Modern Mama! And thanks readers! xoxo!

PS: Baby Girl is now crawling. This makes working at home very very easy. Simple, really.
PPS: Yes, I am now using my prego-pillow as desk leg padding.

Pre-K for my Baby K

We took K to his first day of pre-Kindergarten today. It was "kinda hard." His words. My feelings.

With all the books, puzzles, crafts, and a brand-new playground, I don't think the day was all that hard for K. It was a short morning of singing and playing with his best bud S. He got to use "zissors," which Mummy never allows at home.* And, he had us in tow to help with indoor shoes and cubbies.

It was definitely hard for me.

It was hard to not be furious with K's dad when he mentioned, the night before, all the things K needed for school. (More so, since I had had to miss the orientation meeting due to work.) It was hard to get us organized to be clothed, fed and out the door on time, even with Dear A to watch the baby girl. Most of all, it was hard to see my little baby boy at the playground surrounded by older kids on recess. He looked so tiny.

The next class is un-parented. I think it might be "kinda hard" on both of us.

*In my defense, we have stainless-steel-chop-through-a-raw-dead-bird scissors, so its not like I'm being crazy paranoid.