A Life Without

Dear A's back from holidays tomorrow. She's been off for three weeks. The first two weeks we were on a family mostly staycation. We missed Dear A but it was lovely to spend time together, sleeping in and goofing around. Last week we were both back at work, and juggling childcare. It was a challenging, and enlightening  dry-run for when, eventually, we are without a nanny.

So far I've realized:

Without a nanny, I will be at least 10lbs heavier. Since she's been gone, I've gained 4lbs. Chasing after my kids does burn calories but it's counter to the large amounts of crap food we eat when I don't have time to cook properly. And with Dear A, I can usually find 30 minutes to get some form of exercise, without having to pay for a gym with drop in childcare.

Without a nanny, the dog would be at least 10lbs heavier. Because Dear A can help manage the kids breakfasts, our dog gets at least a few minutes for a walk each morning. 


Without a nanny, my house would be at least 10lbs heavier... due to all the dust and dog and cat hair it accumulates daily. When Dear A's here, the house get swept every day, and dusted every few. With us... well lets just say even the dog is sneezing right now. I'm working on the child labour but neither one of them is there yet!

Without a nanny, my hubby'd probably be 10 lbs lighter because we'd never get any alone time so he'd probably be all about the working out etc. so he could have an affair. Well, maybe not quite, but we'd definitely get a lot less time together to re-connect and keep our marriage going.

All in all, a life without our nanny would be a lot heavier... and a lot less.

F*CK

Here's what happens when you have to beg and borrow childcare:

Tonight, K told me about "nuts."

"Its a Shhh bad word," that so-and-so's friend told him. I didn't get a clear picture of what else went down (talking to my 3 year old often reminds of my attempts to get subway directions in Turkey) but the gist implied an off colour conversation, and possibly a demonstration, with some older kids at the park. This was Day 2 of what is essentially an all week play date, because Dear A is away, and we both had to work. And now I'm left feeling annoyed, angry, and guilty.

I'm waffling between taking the next two days off to take care of him myself (which would wreak havoc on work) or having an uncomfortable and possibly ineffective (due to the hazy understanding of what really went down) conversation with the two nannies who are supervising the play date this week. Don't get me wrong, I think both are fantastic caregivers. I just think maybe the huge group care wasn't the best solution. Or maybe I'm just feeling guilty for not being at the park to help my kid navigate a situation that made him uncomfortable.

And so... F*CK!!

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