Work vs Children Part 2: I Chose My Kids

So, I was laid off yesterday. 

Not relevant, this pic just makes me smile

Its fine. I knew, when I couldn't move into a full-time position with terms & conditions that wouldn't allow me to deal with school pick up and drop off, that they might lay me off. While it always stings a little bit to hear "your services are no longer required," I know its the right thing.

Life is change - the company I spent 7 years with is changing, my kids' needs are changing, and, with her permits, Dear A's needs are going to change too. So, I'm embracing the change and looking forward to the next phase of my working mom life - something that will allow me to still contribute to the economy, my family, help our nanny, and still raise good kids. Tomorrow. Today, I'm giving myself a break to grieve and absorb.

Work vs. Children and the Childcare Dilemma

If only he could drive himself, right?

There's a Globe and Mail article today about daycares offering night care. Between it, and our current struggles, I'm very interested in how child care/ work hours will shift as economic factors force more parents to work, technology allows more flexible ways to work, and baby boomers retire.

K's getting older and goes more regularly to school (which at this point means an awkward 2 hours, midday) we're struggling with how to manage drop-offs and pick-ups now that I'm needing to work more hours. Dear A doesn't drive and K's current school is 1 hr away by transit (sidebar: this in itself is ridiculous, since its only 8 mins away by car) so without flexible work schedules, we're looking at 2 kids on the bus for about 2 hours each day. Plus while K's in school Dear A and the baby would what? hang out at a coffee shop? All this with a nanny - I can't imagine the struggles for shift workers.

I think we need not only a solution, but a shift in the way we think about the problem.

Bye Bye Baby

My baby girl's first word was "Bye!" complete with pudgy little waving hand. Yup, a gut-wrenching, heart-ripping, "Bye!"

My little one, my last baby, has grown up with such a stream of comings and goings that the first thing she has learned is to say goodbye. She says is pleasantly, with a smile and sweet face. She seems ok with it, knowing already, that we eventually come back.

Its good, I guess, that she's ok with us leaving.

What Do You Get the Person Who Has Your Everything?

Hands up if you're done your Christmas shopping, stuck to your budget and have everything organized? (If you put your hand up it'll just make it easier for me to find and slap you!) Kidding!! But, it is that time of year, when holiday stress drives me to eat and drink. Lucky for me the food and drink this time of year is extra healthy and low-calorie....oh wait.

In particular, being on a reduced mat leave salary had made the looming Christmas and Nanny Bonus stressful, until I figured out a present that would work for both us and Dear A.

I know quite a few parents wrestle with the what/how much nanny Christmas present. In previous years I've looked for a gift that is nice, meets a need and then given a cash bonus as well. This year I was out of ideas on the jewellery/watch/luggage option that fit our budget and really, wanted to look at a non-thing present.

I asked Dear A about her plans for the holidays in passing and ended up with the perfect idea. It turned out she wasn't going to visit her friends due to her ride/co-travellers not having time off. So there was my idea: extra days off and a ticket to see her friends. It was a perfect solution - out of pocket it was less for us, and a more meaningful gift.

What are you getting your nanny? (And, what are you getting your sister in law? I'm out of ideas... thanks.)

PS - Just FYI, I did ask Dear A before purchasing her ticket. Wasn't going to have this #FAIL happen again!

Two Words That Struck Fear into My Heart

Open. Permit.

Scared Face.

As in Dear A got hers and can now apply for employment outside of our sponsorship and the Live In Caregiver Program. I almost didn't write about this because I'm terrified that someone will read this and come and steal her away. (Please don't.)

In the big picture, this is great news for someone I truly adore. Dear A has worked hard for this opportunity and it means she's one step closer to the life she wants to build in Canada, but... GULP, what if she leaves?

I've been thinking about it for a while - since we started the applications - and we've talked about it. I know that our new contract is good, and that she's happy with us. I know that always talking to her about part-time jobs, future jobs, schooling and ways for us to help her on that path will ensure no big surprises.  But, I also know the wait lists for good day homes and day cares in our neighbourhood and the problems families are facing finding childcare all over the city.

So, I'm still scared.

Went to Work, Missed a First of the Last

Another one of those days.... I went to a meeting while Dear A took both kids to the park, and discovered Baby Girl's love for the swing. Apparently she laughed hysterically and cried whenever the swing stopped. Another little personality moment that I didn't get to discover.

I'm sad that I missed this big first and feel like a bad parent because we hadn't thought to try her on the swing yet. Beyond the fact that K hated the swing until about a minute ago, and our expertise is coloured by "the first kid", its the classic working parent thing - you spend all week working and weekends get plugged up with social stuff and errands so you miss out on some of the basics. I'm also wondering if I haven't been delaying trying some of this stuff because I want her to stay a baby. My last baby... yeah, last, I'm pretty sure, no I'm sure...she's the last.

Being able to be home with her, more than I was with K, has been amazing. And that's tough. Its tough to let go of each little baby thing; the newborn onsies are packed away, the food mills gone, and the bassinets been donated. With each step, my last baby is becoming more "last" and less "baby."

Sidebar: Its My Birthday Today!

Ya, I'm behind on my posts. I've got four drafted, sort of brewing, and I know, I know, I owe you guys the Nanny Q&A too.... but guess what? Its my birthday and instead of "should"ing, I'm doing what I feel like! :-P

Today, I'm not blogging, I'm celebrating! 

Today, I'm 36. I have 2 perfect, PERFECT! kids, a happy marriage (hey, at least we can both see a light at the end of the baby-stress, job-stress tunnel.) I'm employed, and a good, smart worker. I've lost the baby weight. I make sure my family have healthy home cooked meals together almost every night. I have a great relationship with my parents, brother and sister in law. I live in a nice house and am a good neighbour. I volunteer for the food bank, because food has such meaning in my life that I can't bear the thought of others going hungry. I have happy, rescued pets, who's lives are better because of me. I have a best friend and am a good best friend. I keep learning. I am a good connector and try to help people if I can. Oh, and I'm the "Best Mommy Ever":